Wednesday, 14 December 2011

When life gives you lemons

They say: "when life gives you lemons, make lemonade". Some say: "when life gives you lemons, add a dash of salt and a shot Tequila". 
Not everyone was blessed with time and money to follow strict diets and training schedules at the gym. I sure don't. The blessing is that I can't afford take out and I don't waste time doing stuff that won't last. Diets are great until you go off them. Training schedules designed by personal trainers are brilliant if you stick to them. Somehow life inevitably gets in the way, and all your best intentions for that diet & exercise goes all Houdini on your @ss.

That is why I don't diet or go to a gym. I eat what I want. Fortunately most of what I want is healthy, because I want to look younger and live longer. I exercise when I want to. I don't feel guilty for having a Steak & Kidney pie as dinner tonight. I won't feel like I have cheated if I don't exercise tonight. The simple fact of the matter is, I am not on a diet or weight loss programme. There is nothing to worry about.  As long as the majority of what I ate today was healthy, I am fine with it. I will exercise to work off what I ate at some point, but it's not a life or death situation.

Life is so fragile and so very short. God put us on this earth for our life to mean something. Whether it's through our kids or through something we are a part of or do for a living. He did not intend for us to be weigh food and count calories and punish ourselves in the gym. He gave us these things because your kids only have 1 birth mother and no one can take care of her but YOU.

Tuesday, 13 December 2011

12 Days until Christmas

No one really starts any change in their lifestyle or anything during the Holidays. They postpone it to become just another New Year's resolution that will go all Milli Vanilli.

I say Xmas is the best time to start. You want to loose weight? Then start right away. All you have to do is evaluate your life. Ask yourself these questions:
1) Do you work part time?
2) Do you have a cleaning service or a domestic executive cleaning your house?
3) Do you have independent children.
4) Do you have time for gym.
5) Can you afford to spend lots of money on personal trainers and diets?
If you answered YES to any of the above, you have no excuses and can therefore fit exercise and healthy eating into your "hectic" life.
If, like me, you answered NO to all of the above, then there is a plan you can incorporate into your life.
Step one: ask Santa for a MP3, MP4, iPod or a 1980's Walkman!!! Whatever, just get portable music into your life.
Go to work, have a yogurt, drink lots of water and eat left overs from the night before for lunch.
Go home and make a healthy dinner (aka tomorrow's lunch). Eat half your dinner and start to clean the house & do laundry in between doing the "mom" thing as quickly as you can.
Once your little ones are tucked into bed (preferable no later than 8pm), retreat to your bedroom or bathroom.
Dance to music anywhere you can find a space for an hour. Drink water to keep hydrated.
Have a bath/ shower/ both and relax the rest of the night.
If you are on holiday during this time, retreat to the bathroom or bedroom for an hour and dance away. Take lots of walks, swim, ski or run during the day and be sure to eat half of what you ordered or made. The leftovers can be another meal on it's own. Drink lots of water before meals and afterwards.
You don't have to diet. You don't have to join a gym. The only changes you need to make is smaller portions, lots of water and some form of exercise. Basically do anything that makes you exhausted.
All of this can be done in your time, on your budget and can be fit into your lifestyle as a mom.

Monday, 12 December 2011

Oops, I did it again!!

What a horrible weekend!! It rained the entire time so all we did was cuddle in front of the TV. I ate and snacked and picked all weekend long. Today when I went for my morning confession, the scale showed that I had picked up 2kg's. (Butter!!!)

Weight loss is easy, but keeping it off is soooo hard for me. I have the perfect weight loss regime for me and a brilliant plan to not gain weight. However as this weekend proved, not all plans are fool proof. (or idiot proof in my case).
I had little meals until I was not hungry anymore. Then I picked little bits off the kids' plates, then I snacked on sweets and what-not in between. That was the idiot part. I should have waited until I was absolutely starving again before I snacked on sweets. The fact that I did not do a stitch of exercises also did damage!

So back to my quick weight loss routine today. Slowly eat small, healthy portions when I am starving. Drink lots of water before and after I have eaten. Dance. Shower. Sleep.
By this weekend I will be 2kg's lighter again. Happy face.

Until then I will be depressed as hell. Better warn the authorities. There's a women out there with severe PMS:  Post Monday Stress!!! GRRRRRRRR.

Friday, 9 December 2011

Time flies and all that

When I was younger I weighed over 200 pounds (96kg's). Now I can not loose any more weight even if I tried. I have bones sticking out at some places (YUK!!)  How time flies. As previously promised on my blog, I have followed through on my plans to get summer ready. All that is left is that fake, waterproof tan. Seems there is no such thing after all, so I am going to be the Albino in the purple swimsuit.
With any luck my milky white skin will BLIND the people around me so they won't notice the stretch marks on my butt and knees from when I was fat.

Normally when I have one week to go until I go on holiday, I start panicking about my hip lumps and bum bumps. Fortunately this time I was determined not for that to happen, so I followed my 5 step weight loss strategy. No matter what my fellow beach goers think of me, at least I'll be the skinny whatever.
Hopefully once I turn 37 this month, I'll stop caring once and for all what people think of me and my body. Maybe I will always be the fat girl in the skinny body.  Where's skinny me when I need her?

Thursday, 8 December 2011

Eat, Play, Love

In our minds we once looked like this:

now we think we look like this:

If you hate what you see in the mirror, don't put yourself down. Do something about it. All it takes is one small change.  Eat small portions, play with different exercises and love your imperfections. They define you.

Wednesday, 7 December 2011

Issues are best served warm

A few weeks ago I mentioned that I still needed to shed more lb's and tighten a few areas. Well, I am happy to announce that today I reached my goal.

I am now the exact weight I was the day I got married 13 years ago. I am a whopping 56kgs!! I have loose skin on my belly & wider hips as a result of pregnancy and child birth. Thanks to a boob job, I have bigger kahunas contributing to my width, but I look & feel great. To be exact, I was pregnant 8 times. Only gave birth twice. Some syndrome, but also I contribute the fact that my babies did not survive to my yo-yo weight issues. Fortunately more babies are no longer my wish.

It does not mean that I still don't have weight issues. As I said many times, losing weight is easy, but keeping it off not. That is partly why this blog is so important to me. It is my motivation to keep the weight off this time.
People reading this blog is what inspires me and I in turn are in awe of so many bloggers putting themselves out there. We all have issues. It's nice to have a community of people standing by each other. It makes me feel all warm & fuzzy inside.

Tuesday, 6 December 2011

Use that nog... Eggnog

I can't say that I have worked my @ss off to get thin, because that will be total lie (although the common perception in my office is that I have,  based on how my pants droop). Weight loss is easy. Keeping it off when it's no longer important...not so much.
I like to think that I am the "Michael Weston" of all things diet & nutrition. Heaven knows I've done enough research on it. People ask me why I have not made all my knowledge of Nutrition & diets official by getting a degree of some sorts on the matter. My response normally involves a snotty laugh followed by these words: "Everything in moderation". I don't believe in diets. I don't believe in gym. I eat well enough not to be unhealthy. I exercise correctly enough not to be unfit (did that just make sense??)
Anyway, I can not in all good conscience tell people how to eat or exercise if I don't do it myself. I eat what I want, only when I am hungry, instead of the 6 proportionately selected greens & "leans" (typical diet foods) that I ought to eat a day.
My tricks for instant weight loss: Drink lots of water before & after you eat. Eat and drink what you feel like. If you are serious about weight loss you will incorporate leafy greens and healthy vegetables into every meal for good measure. Don't eat until you are about to explode. Dance exuberantly to utter exhaustion. Relax in a bath or shower and sleep.
That way you never get cravings, never feel hungry or tired and never have any medical problems. You also don't feel the need to sabotage or cheat on a "diet".

No one knows you better than you do. So use your knowledge about yourself and your lifestyle to make nutrition and exercise fit into your daily routine. Remember: You are NOT on a DIET. You are not doing this for any reason other than to look younger & live longer. Should you want to loose weight to win a man, a popularity contest or attention, your victory will not last long. Neither will your new found body.

Monday, 5 December 2011

It's time.

When I see fat people I can't help but think back at the time when I was over 200 pounds. I remember how hard it was to be like that and all the things I tried to loose weight. The thing is, I remember doing at least something about it. Most people, to be honest don't look like they are even trying. That disgusts me in a small way, because I could never go back to that. Fat people are not happy. They are not healthy. We tolerate them because we have to. They are everywhere! I sound like the biggest Be-atch, but I can't help it. Seriously, if I of all people could loose over 100 pounds, then why not everyone else?
I didn't have money, time or the will to give up my greatest love of all... food. I just made a conscious decision to work healthier foods in small doses along with some exercise into my life.

It's time to stop making excuses. Stop pretending everything is OK, when I know you are dying inside. I know what you go through physically every day. I know what you go through mentally every day. It is so much easier to blame everything and everyone else. It is so convenient to have an "alibi" for your eating habits. You are slowly killing yourself and that will never be OK.

It is time. Figure out how you can save yourself more time to fit exercise into life. Try to find healthy alternatives when it comes to food, like home made Hamburgers.  To save money, take left over dinner for lunch the next day. What do you have to loose?

Saturday, 3 December 2011

"It's the most wonderful time of the year"

As the lyrics in the song goes: "It's the most,  wonderful tiiiiiiime,  of the yeeeeeear". Just because we are moms with no time and money, we still have a lot to be grateful for.
It is a great time of year where giving is more important than receiving. So in the spirit of giving, I want to give you something: My encouragement, support and motivation. (bummer... I know!!!)

Any one can loose weight, no matter how old, fat or unhealthy they are. You don't have to join a gym. You don't have to follow a "eating lifestyle". You definitely don't have to spend tons of money either. The important part is that you fit healthy eating and some form of exercise into your life. Make losing weight work for you and fit into your schedule.
Don't loose weight for someone else. Don't try to look like that hot mom you always see at your local supermarket. You want to loose weight to look younger and live longer. Nothing else matters. The minute you stop trying to loose weight for the wrong reasons, the longer you will keep the weight off.

With small portions, lots of water and some way of working off what you ate, losing weight is really easy. Have that big meal and pudding. Just drink lots of water before you eat out of a side plate. Don't go for seconds! If you are still hungry afterwards, drink more water. After clearing the table and doing the dishes (aka at least 1 hour), make time to take a walk, go dance, jog a little or do anything that involves movement. If all else fails have sex, that is also great exercise. The great part is, you can do any of these for as long as you want until bed time. The more movement the more exercise, the more weight you loose.
It's a start!!!

Thursday, 1 December 2011


The perfect opportunity came up today to test a theory I had. During a work function where a 3 course meal and lots of alcohol were the main attractions, was it possible to loose weight.
The answer is Yes!! I always drink lots of water before and after I eat a little something, so today was no different. (looking forward to the leftovers tomorrow I might add!!) I never go without exercising, yet tonight I will give it miss.  Partly because I drank lots of Coolers and wines, so stability and balance is not my forte, if you know what I mean? Yet, I managed to loose weight.  What did I do differently?
I moved as much as possible when I could. In between courses I took fast walks to the bar, ladies room and smoking area. My behind bopped up & down in my chair to the music. I mingled, wriggled and giggled the whole way through. I also parked far away so running to and from the restaurant was not optional.
Now that I have my theory tested I will hone my skills at every function to come.
So don't just sit there!! Do something. Anything to keep moving. You will be surprised what a big difference that makes if you don't stuff yourself like a Christmas stocking. Eat small, become small. Continue moving, continue living longer. It doesn't matter what you look like now. What matters is your future.

Wednesday, 30 November 2011

Happy Feet

I am so excited! Tomorrow our "team" at work is going on lunch to have our own year end function. Not only do I get a half day, but I will be having good food, good wine and good fun. The 10kg's I lost over the last month have really done wonders for my self esteem. I look forward to events ,whereas before I would Grim Reaper the hell out the situation.
Does this mean I will now throw everything I have worked of out the window? No, nee, nada, HeT, nein, non, Ino!!! The plan is to drink only red wine (ha-ha). Of course I will have all 3 courses of food in between. They key will be to eat only small portions and lots of doggy bags. Don't want to waste now, do we?
Obviously I will be in nooo condition to exercise tomorrow night when I stumble home. Perhaps I should replace the exercise with some herbal tea. Much safer!!
Tonight I am going to dance and exercise a little longer in anticipation of tomorrow. Work out some of this excitement. Bonus, I will lose enough weight to afford to pick up a little tomorrow. BALANCE!
I will work off the copious amounts of alcohol I consumed on Friday night. See, who says you can not do what you want and still lose weight. Two words people: Living Proof.

Tuesday, 29 November 2011

Quick!! Look busy!

With a couple of weeks left before mostly everyone goes on holiday, I sense a desperation in moms all over to lose as much weight as they possibly can.
They have joined gyms. They spent extra on healthy foods. Some are starving themselves (Shame). All over women have developed tunnel vision. Their weight and nothing but their weight. Yet the weight does not come off as quickly as it once did. What to do? PANIC!!!
Nope, that's not it.
Fastest weight loss tips from my experience:
Shock your routine! Fit dancing, running and walking along with eating small healthy potions into your daily routine at work by all means necessary, where ever and whenever. Go to the gym everyday. Drink lots of water before and after eating.  Drink relaxing herbal tea designed for relieving constipation at night before bed. 
You will lose weight quickly & stay healthy.

Monday, 28 November 2011

Hey Good looking!!

Whether you are ugly, skinny, fat, pretty or all of the above in your opinion, if you are a woman, you feel different about yourself to how others feel about you. (Yeah!! on a daily basis!!)
Most women will never be happy about the way they look. They focus only on their negatives.    
I am also like that. Unless you are going to Aspen to ski, you are one of the few not worried about your weight. Fortunately for us going somewhere where Hypothermia is not an Avalanche away, many clothes out there are designed to fit our body types to hide imperfections on the beach. With that issue out the way, you need to work on your self image. They say to change your mind set about yourself you must compliment something about yourself in the mirror every morning. (Imagine that??)
I read something today: It is a monumental waste of time to improve your body and not work on your self esteem, because you will never be happy no matter how anorexic you look.
Loose weight if you want, diet if you need to. What ever you do, try to learn to love yourself. That's what I am going to do every day from now on.
Just remember, it could be worse.
You could be skinny, but look like this!!!                      

Saturday, 26 November 2011

Mars Bars & Venus Fly traps

Last night I went out with some friends while my dear hubby babysat the kids. A discussion ensued to which I now correct one of my previous posts.
You see, I always blamed the media and other women for the fact that we (women) put so much emphasis on our bodies. After a chat with  my BFF's hubby, his opinion hit me like a freight train. Women have always been like that before Sports Illustrated, FHM and Playboy came out. We are geneteically programmed like that until we reach a stage in our life where we no longer care so much.  We always have & always will compare ourselves to other women. We inherently think our bodies are worse than it really is. Men don't mind what we generally look like. They too care what is on the inside, but don't mind eye candy just like we women. The only difference is, they don't compare their bodies to bodybuilders and feel bad.

Eat healthy portions, exercise and look after yourself. You will feel better about yourself. The most important fashion accessory is a smile!!!


Friday, 25 November 2011

Here goes

In exactly 1 month it will be Christmas day!!! Frankly I can't wait. All the food and all the presents. It is a Double Whammy day for me as the 25th is also my Birthday. Now before you "ah shame" me, I am NO Christmas baby. I am a Christmas Diva!! I demand 2 presents and always get them.

My favourite part is that I get to eat Xmas cake and Birthday cake all in one day!!! As a norm, I don't allow myself to be "stuffed" like a turkey where it comes to food, but on this day I make an exception.
Now I am not an Extreme religious nut, but Boy, do I become one after all that food?! Everyone knows what happens when you eat too much. Yep, I really hate being that tired because it is so unlike me. I have heaps of energy the day after a great dance workout and a good night's sleep. So it's pretty much a daily energizer bunny thing going on in my family's life.
This year I intend on making one teenie weenie change. Instead of  taking a nap after eating, I am going to take a walk.
Maybe that will  help...if I am not too lazy that  is.

Either way I will work off whatever I gained during the day over the holidays. No matter where I am, as long as I have my MP3 and make sure I get some mommy time, there will be no weight gain on my watch!! No sir-ee!
I have no problems taking long walks or dancing in the bathroom of the Guest house, Hotel or B&B. It' as easy as Cha-cha-cha!!!

Thursday, 24 November 2011

I think this picture says it all!!!

Men like women of all sizes and shapes. Women are the ones aspiring to look like stick figures, because that is what we are exposed to.
Woman: you are far too hard on yourself and on each other. I had snide remarks made when I was fat. When I was skinny the buzz was that I was on drugs. Endless rumours and remarks just because I looked different. Damned if you do, DONE if you don't. (especially in school). Who did this? WOMEN!

We put so much pressure on ourselves to be perfect in every way. Love your curves. Live life the way you want to. You only get one shot at it. Forget about what magazines, FTV and the internet shows us about what you should look like. Be happy, be healthy, live long and make everything your life fit for a mom. Moms don't belong in boxes. They are too unique.

Wednesday, 23 November 2011

Best Intentions

I couldn't blog yesterday, because I spilt Coke on my keyboard right before I could log on. Today the keyboard works (albeit a bit sticky here and there).

It got me thinking... we often start something with the best of intentions. Then something unexpected happens, which then throws our plans for a loop-d-loop. That serves as our excuse or escape to not go ahead with something. Isn't that so true??

I have done that a lot where it came to diets in my life. Start off with a BANG and finish with a BLAH. I always found an excuse to eventually stop the diet, even if nothing interrupted my plans. (lazy cow anyone?)
So no more diets!! I choose life!

Eat what you want, work it off with some exercise. Note to those going "Hooray" right now, if you don't eat healthy most of the time, you will not loose or maintain your weight. Instead your weight will go up and down like a Fong Kong yo-yo. You will also not keep your good health. (never good)
We have to adhere to at least the basics of healthy living, OK? Otherwise you set yourself up for more than just the numbers on the scale going berserk.

In closing, live a healthy life filled with nutritious food, water, exercise and sleep. Just don't deprive yourself totally of treats of the sweet and savoury kind.

Monday, 21 November 2011

Motive equals motivation

I believe that one's ambition is relative to one's priorities. If money is your main priority then obviously you will be very ambitious in your current job or in the search for a well paying job. If family is your priority, then you will either seek a job or reshuffle your current job to meet that priority.

Where it comes to health, I call it motive instead of ambition. Some women want to look healthy and skinny to be more attractive to men. Others to look better than any of their friends, other moms at the school, work colleagues and beach goers. Many of us, want to not just look healthy, but to be healthy. Cancer is my biggest fear. Living longer is what keeps me motivated to eat right and exercise.

So what will your motive be? Getting even with a cheating spouse or ex? Getting the man of your dreams? Being the best looking mom in your town? Whatever your motive, use it as your motivation. Everything and anything is possible when you have a great body. There is absolutely no limits to the power you have when you feel & look great. BWAH-HA-HA (evil laugh). The truth is we do have a lot of power of men already. We don't need great bodies to set the standard in our homes and relationships. We say what is acceptable and not, because men need women more than we need them.(men will strongly disagree -up to the point when you toss them out the door). Most women unfortunately do not know this, so they put up with cheaters, abusers and losers. Here's a motivation... get your head out your rear end. Make a plan to become independent. Get your body & mind right. Dump the A-hole and move on to the next guy.
I 've done it so much in my life, that I finally had a checklist of what I wanted in a husband. Sadly perfect men do not exist, so I married the one with the highest score (I married late in life). One thing I know for certain and that I experience everyday...There's always another man out there willing to take his place!!! Luckily for him I'm sooo not interested in other men.
You want motive...get your body right and everything else will fall into place.

Sunday, 20 November 2011

Are you prepared?

Preparing for the week ahead does not take a lot of  time. That is why I pre-cook on a Sunday (my day off). Rice and Pasta keep well in the refrigerator. Only reheat the portion you need and put the rest in the fridge. Your cooking time is cut in half and dinner can be served within half an hour from getting home. Try do the same with gravy. A healthy gravy with a rich stock, some pieces of any meat, Onion, Carrots and Celery. I cook gravy on a low heat all day long until everything disintergrated. Yummm....
On the odd occasion that my day off is disrupted, I let my slow cooker do the gravy while I am "indisposed" and the rest I do at night. See, no room for excuses!! It can be done.

With all that time saved, there is more time for mom during the week. Why do we need this precious time? Why do we need to do all that crap? We don't want to look like Heidi Klum. We don't want to conform to what society's ideals are of "moms". Why should we adhere to every new study? We get told to consume more of one thing, until another study proves it to be wrong. Don't do this, do that, eat never ends. What are we meant to be doing!! I always say: Everthing... (in moderation).

The fact is: We are moms (the ONLY most important job out there). We need to take care of ourselves, so we can have the priviledge to raise our children into well adjusted, healthy adults. BE an example for them. To be there for them until they have children of their own. To spoil the grandchildren ROTTEN. If we are truely blessed, we will get to meet our great-granchildren.
That is why we need to eat healthy, exercise and stay strong. The purpose of life is not to have the best body or best possesions. It is to have a blessed LIFE.
Take care of yourself. Be good to yourself and others. Declutter your home for the sake of charity regularly. Eat chocolate. Cry during sad movies. Laugh at your childrens lame jokes. Work hard everyday, both at work and at home. At night do crazy dancing exercises with obscure household items. Have your mommy time. Then do it all again the next day.
Are you prepared?


Friday, 18 November 2011

How to survive a weekend

It is very difficult to maintain a healthy diet and get exercise on a weekend. Luckily I am not "normal" so to me it means more mommy time.

Weekends my kids are allowed to stay up as late as they want. It gives them something to look forward to during the week. During the day, I wait until they are very pre-occupied with whatever game they are playing. I quietly sneak off to my bedroom in the hopes that they will not follow me.
Is it sad that I have to play a cat and mouse game with my kids or is it exciting? I can't tell.
Needless to say if they do interrupt me I get them whatever they want, with style. I dance or skip to the kitchen, pour "duce" and off I go.
Sometimes they actually join me. It is hilarious to see them imitate my dance moves. I avoid doing exercises that require me to be on my knees. For some reason my youngest son sees it as an invitation to "ride horsey".

As for food, I eat small portions of anything and drink lots of Coke. It's my weekend too after all?
Fortunately my husband loves cooking and has taken to my Grape Seed Oil and "incorporating healthy options" method. Therefore we take turns making home made "take out" like Chinese and hamburgers. In between the healthy food, we snack on pretty much anything. Don't think we don't work it off!!

So apart from avoiding my kids and or involving them in my exercises and eating healthy "options", weekends are very laid back.
Some times we are with friends and out socialising. Those weekends are tough, because I don't get involved in the kid's games. I prefer to chat with the "grown ups". I work twice as hard on Mondays to make up for those weekends.

Thursday, 17 November 2011

Does it matter?

   Losing weight does not have to cost you an arm and a leg. Taking care of yourself should be naturally easy. Losing weight fast, well now….that is just a bonus!!!
   I wasted a lot of time and money on diets and workouts in my life. The experience & the knowledge I gained from it though, was neither a waste of money or time.  Because of it, I have a perfect routine to suit my life as a busy, broke mom.

   Fit exercises and healthy eating habits into your schedule.  Take yesterday for example.
   I had such a busy day at work , that all I ate was a yogurt in the morning and dry Muesli to snack on in the afternoon.  As it was my son’s “graduation” from pre-school last night. I knew I was not going to have any mommy time.  Instead I ran (yes! in my heels) from my desk to & from the copier, the bathroom and everywhere else. Later that night, I had a quick Chicken pie before his ceremony. Once home, I was too tired to exercise but I took time to exfoliate & moisturise after my shower.  I felt good knowing that at least I had exercise during the day & healthy food in the morning. Today I had picked up no weight whatsoever.
   So, I ate an apple for breakfast. Lunch (at 4pm) and was a Cornetto McFlurry because it was so darn hot!! I am going to skip dinner & go straight for a 60 minute workout after the kids go to bed. After my shower I am going to moisturise and maybe do a hair mask.
   The most important thing is: Don’t feel guilty about looking after yourself. Many moms feel like they are letting their family down if they take time for themselves. They think that they have their priorities all messed up. They feel guilty for putting themselves first. When last did your family put you first??? My children are so sweet and lovable, but even they have self entitlement issues. I call them: Generation ME.
   Life is for the living, as they say. Unfortunately “the living” stays that way for nowhere near long enough. 
   Life is so short and to spend it on eating restricted foods & doing things you don’t enjoy? That is no life at all.
   Eat what you want. Work off whatever you ate, however you want. Drink water, sleep and don’t sweat the small stuff.

Wednesday, 16 November 2011

Dance away your blues

I dance - what looks like to most people as a tribal dancer performing a sacred ritual -(in the privacy of my bedroom). There I am free from judgement and the day’s concerns. I let go and get my “freak” on listening to my favourite tunes. Dancing is also great because you can drink water during your “sessions”. Sometimes I do Callanetics, versions of Yoga I remember from back in the day or simple aerobics (which in my case involves mostly lifting my knees really high in all directions). The other day I attempted the Xbox 360 Kinect fitness programme. It involves answering a series of questions, to which the “personal trainer” helps develop some programmes for you to choose from. My biggest mistake...choosing the “perfect legs & butt routine”. For every move she did I was “out of routine” and constantly reminded to “narrow my stance”, “stay in rhythm” and “bend lower”. Did I mention I am 36 with back & knee problems? Very hard at my age. I scored a mere 68% accuracy upon completion and burned 20 calories according to that machine, but I swear I was finished!!! I also clean my house with moves that will make strippers blush, but only when I’m alone!!! Don’t want hubby to get excited while I’m “in the zone”, even if I am fully dressed.
Dancing is something everyone can do. No matter how fat or unfit you are. You do not have to be Fred Astaire or a Pussycat Doll. You also do not need special gear, special instructions or any safety equipment.  So dance away the fat and instantly improve your mood.

Tuesday, 15 November 2011


I lost 1 kilogram since yesterday. (little Oh yeah...oh yeah... dance going on in my head right now!!!) Last night whilst dancing for 30 minutes with a tin of canned food in each hand, I decided to wear my Wellington boots (it just came to me). I am so amazed that just adding that weight to my legs made such a huge difference. Along with lots of water, my day was no different to any other day. The only thing I can subscribe it to is the boots I wore. From now on I am going to wear them every night!!!
If you don’t have rain boots, wear a pair of your heaviest shoes. Why go out and spend good money on ankle weights, when you can use ordinary items inside your house to help you, right? RIGHT.

I had a half my Fig preserve sandwich for breakfast yesterday morning. The other  half was for lunch with fruit as snacks during meals. Dinner was a side plate of beef strips in soya sauce with ginger, garlic and some vegetables (tomato, onion & red peppers). It was mixed up with only the noodles of 2Minute Noodles packet. Like I said; my day was no different to any other day.
Having said that, please do yourself a favour and never use the flavour sachet that comes with the noodles, because those ingredients are very unhealthy. If you must, rather add natural, mixed spices to the noodles as opposed to using those sachets. The noodles alone are bad enough for you.  Technically anything with the following on the label is very bad for your brain & body. 
1)       E and a multi-digit number (example: E551)
2)      “hydrogenated”,
3)      sodium,
4)      flavour enchantments,
5)      colorants,
6)      mono fats,  saturated -, and Trans fats

My rule however: Everything in moderation. Life is too darn short to read labels!!

Monday, 14 November 2011


I was reminded today why I got so fat in the first place. I always had an excuse for why I was fat. It was a side effect of my medication, I had a "medical" problem, I love food too much, I hated not feeling full and my's too good to go to waste.  Heaven will collapse in the mere whisper of the word and life as we know it will come to an end. We dare not waste!!!
Every day we go through life making excuses. "I can't stop smoking because it keeps me calm and I become a B with an itch if I stop", or "drinking relaxes me" or "my children drive me to snap the way I do". More and more excuses because the fact is that we are generically creatures of habit and comfort. Far be it from us to "change" anything that requires effort on our part. A few select people have the will power, drive or whatever you call it to change. We label them as fitness freaks and health geeks, because criticising them makes us feel better.

Honestly, a healthy lifestyle requires no effort on your part. It requires you to incorporate healthy options into your meals and pre-planning & prepping home cooked meals to save yourself time during the week. Saving your self time is not a huge effort, but a huge favour to yourself. If you top all that off with some well deserved "mommy-time", whereby you can de-stress and rid yourself of all your frustrations through exercise, it will not be an effort, but a reward. The reward being that you loose weight, look younger and live longer. Does that sound like punishment or effort? Noooooooo.

As for the wasting of food; eating healthy left overs from the night before as lunch is not wasting. It is in fact cheaper, healthier and by far less time consuming than making yourself something else. It helps you cut your portions and like me, if you hate that dreaded "Hungry" feeling, a glass of water will do magic tricks. Water has special, magical powers. It cleanses your body, hydrates your skin, aleviates hunger and prevents anything from bladder infections or water retention to pimples. Groovy!!! I know.
None of this is really rocket science or breaking news. The truth is we all know what we are meant to be doing. Getting to do it is the hard part. People wait for that one A-HA moment or that one diagnosis of doom & gloom, that sign that they must change their lifestyle.
If you are a mom...that sign has been in front of you this whole time. That little piece of your heart that walks outside your body, living a life of it's own.
Start tomorrow, buy fruit to eat during day. Any you wish, as long as it is not inside a pastry.
Drink water before you eat any meal and after you have consumed any meal (including the fruit).
At night (1 hour after dinner), go somewhere unoccupied in you house where you can listen to music. Try moving to the music for 30 minutes. If by tomorrow, you feel like you have achieved nothing in terms of energy & your self esteem, go back to your old life. Chances are, however, that you will feel better about yourself, and you will slowly drop your old lifestyle faster than the "Macarena".
Baby day at a time.

Sunday, 13 November 2011

W.I.P yourself.

Just like me, my blog is a Work In Progress. Since I am a mere beginner at this, I am sure that many changes will follow as I become more accustomed to blogging and get to learn more about's settings & designs, etc. There is a lot I still want to do with my blog, but for now I am taking baby steps.
Isn't that normally how life works? At least that is how I am now an "expert" in my own weight loss and weight maintenance.

As a beginner who weighed 96kg's (about 212 pounds), losing weight was a long struggle.
Due to the fact that I had tried all kinds of diets before, I knew what the right kinds of foods were to eat. It was just really, really hard to put them into practise. So I made small changes to start off with. The first step was to just eat healthier (most of the time). Then I started to eat smaller portions and drink lots of water to still get that FULL feeling after I ate. I was never one who liked feeling half satisfied or left wanting - you know what I mean?  That was soon followed by the only exercise I could at the time, which was walking. Slowly but surely I became slimmer.
Once I realised that I was 72kgs for the first time EVER, the walking turned into jogging and until finally, I could exercise like Jane Fonda!
Through the whole process I learned a lot about myself, about food and exercises. The more I became accustomed to my new lifestyle, the better I became at it and the more weight I lost. After falling pregnant and the subsequent weight I gained from that, losing weight afterwards was just a matter of taking baby steps once more, and fitting my "old" lifestyle into a life fit for a mom.
Eating right (most of the time) is as natural to me now as my daily trip to the snack shop once was. Exercising is part of my routine that NOBODY in my family dares mess with. I get a little cranky if I loose out on some mommy time,  K?

The key is to take the first step. Just one little baby step. Make one small change and if you see a result, the rest will follow. Happiness is just a small decision away.
It is a matter of fitting the food, exercises, socialising, family and everything else into your lifestyle and not to try to fit your life into any "designer" lifestyle complete with eating plan, scientifically formulated for maximum weightloss.
Today I am 57kgs (about 125 pounds) and still working on myself. My goal is not to weigh any less, but to be firmer and have better muscle tone. If I do lose more weight,  the focus will be to loose it around my ass & thighs, that's for sure! I am trying really hard to keep my "Spanish" hips, because I think an hour glass figure is really sexy as opposed to a straight figure, but that is on me. This face on a box figure...I don't think so.
So good luck to the W.I.P that is me and my blog.

Saturday, 12 November 2011

Which witch?

The thought of all those people in the gym seeing me wobble & pant just terrifies me. Now I know I shouldn't care what people think of me, but seriously have you seen my face??? It is one of the most unique & memorable faces out there. I have had people recognize me that last saw me when I was a child and damned if I know who the hell they are??? People also like looking at looking at my face and try to place my celebrity look a like. I have had Angelica Houston, Fran Dresner & "that witch in that movie" as a few examples. Imagine this sweaty mug all lit up like a fire engine, breathing heavily and looking morbidly exhausted coming at you? The word Zombie comes to mind right now. Scary I know!
Luckily becuse I am a cash strapped mom with no time on my hands I have an excuse not to go to gym.
I think most women will avoid a gym if they could, and many don't have the money or time to join one.
In no way should that be an excuse not to look after yourself. You have to take care of yourself, because no one else can. They can put you on diets, keep the pharmacutical industry in business by giving you copious amounts of drugs, generics & "organic" pills. No one can exercize for you. There is no magic pill on the market to keep your bones & muscles strong.
All it takes is one thing in your life to change. It is not difficult or complicated. Take whatever time you can daily, be it in the morning or at night after the kids & your partner have gone to bed. Dance in the lounge, do strethces in the bathroom, but clenches on the couch, run around your house or anything. Live healthy and live long.

Friday, 11 November 2011

EW tide!!!

It’s the time of year when malls start playing their Bony M Christmas collections & various compilations of cover-version carols. I can not tell you what they are, because all I hear is “I want, I want!!!” from my kids. Since I am a pushover, I am certainly not looking forward to the Ka-ching of Cash Registers and the endless finger exercises I will get when using my cards to get them what they want.
What I am looking forward to is a holiday. We will be staying with friends who live by the coast. I have 5 weeks to get my beach body ready. What’s the plan?

Step 1: Loose weight & Firm up (lunges for my legs, crunches for my arms). Keep eating small portions, drink lots of water & exercise every day for 30 minutes. IF I am dedicated enough not to eat sweets & drink 3 glasses of Coke daily, it will be 500 grams a day, 7 days a week = total weight loss of 3.5kg in one week. However, that dedicated I am not. So a total of 4kgs in 4 weeks is fine for me. It’s so easy I almost want start today. 
Step 2: Get a tan (not going to happen naturally, so any advice out there on cheap alternatives are welcome!!!)
Step 3: Get rid of Cellulite – Lymph drainage massage works the best. Since I am a DYI girl, it will involve some painful smacking of my things & butt, followed by squeezing the “broken down” fat bits to my ankles. (Fun)
Step 4: Have roots retouched – make appoint at beauty school for their next “salon” day when they need to practise their techniques.
Step 5: Buy a swimsuit that fits. Since the size 12 (or RSA size 36) I bought last year is too big for me now, this is a necessity. I totally hate shopping when I am not yet ready to face those mirrors.  What’s the deal with them anyway? I swear they are designed to make you NOT want to buy clothes. If Department stores had half a clue, they would dim the lights, and place the mirrors in angles that best compliments a women’s body. All facing UP! I can’t tell you how many times I adored an outfit, only to see it on me and drop the whole idea right there!! Those mirrors show every imperfection & somehow always manage to widen my hips & butt. I buy clothes off the rack now, because I know it will look better from my mirror’s perspective ;-)

5 steps to go…now if only there was a cure for stretch marks?? I still have them on my knees from when I was fat and then off course they are the evidence that I am a mother, which I bear on my stomach, thighs, butt & hips. second thought...NAH!! I will carry them with pride for now.

Thursday, 10 November 2011

Diet, Tried it.

Don’t get me wrong. This blog is not to Martha Steward the hell out of my lifestyle. I am not here to go on and on about how perfect my way of losing weight is or how my exercises are better than anyone else’s.

If you can afford a gym or follow a strict diet, I envy you, because I can do neither of those.  Plus I have never been one to measure out so many cups of this and that many ounces of those. When I was a fat school kid, my mom helped me with that chore by converting ounces & pounds to the “local” measurement. I have said it many times, diets are great. All of the diets I have ever been on worked. I would buy the foods in accordance to the eating plans, measure them out in their respective portions and follow the timetable to eat like a little trooper. Along with exercising it worked wonders.
Now that I am a mom, it is not easy to follow a strict diet & exercise regime on the tight schedule I have or my practically non-existent budget. So I had to go to Plan B.
The primary reason I started this blog is because I lose weight very quickly, but I “let myself go” when I am all nice and skinny again.  
For those who don’t know me, I am the epiphany of “Pear” shaped. Skinny on top with very prominent hips, thighs and stomach. My only exception is that I don’t have the derrière of Kim Kardashian. I have a wide, flat bottom as opposed to a little “junk in my trunk” like other pear shaped beauties.
Perhaps a blessing, but I always had thin arms, bony upper body and a long neck. I also had no boobs whatsoever!! Thanks to a few adjustments in the “mammary” department (shout out to Dr. Craig Paul Shaw), that grave injustice was eventually corrected.
 So I go super skinny, start eating bigger portions, exercise less and then one day out of the blue my “skinny” clothes do not fit anymore?

Ergo the stop myself from getting lazy and complacent again.  Trust me at my age I can’t afford to supersize again. The older you get the harder it is to keep weight off. I for one am determined to be thin, younger looking & stronger as I grow older, because those 3 little gems equates to a longer life. Blogging sites are full of a network of people inspiring me and hopefully I can pay it forward by helping some other mom in my shoes.

Wednesday, 9 November 2011

Walking on a rope

Balancing act:

As if my financial situation and physical annoyances are not enough, I have two kids that test the life out of me. My little “Ooligans” as I call them. The baby one is very cheeky & painfully honest towards everyone. The older one is quiet and reserved, but lies through his teeth about school work. I can breastfeed a crocodile out of frustration!!!

They have the attention spans of fleas, the memory retention of a plank and don’t get me started on their “listening” impairments! I’m sure all moms will agree that ALL kids are like this. Enough to drive you insane right?

Luckily my healthy eating habits ensure that I have ample energy to deal with my daily dose of disappointment, embarrassment and frustration. Exercises help me get rid of all my “issues” and “moods” consequently related to said “Ooligans”.

I must say it is SOOO nice to have energy all day long & then some. Seriously, if you haven’t tried making the slightest change, you are making life a lot harder for yourself. Eating well is so important to me now, because I never want to feel like that permanently tired, sore, old drained woman I once was ever again. 

I don’t deprive myself of anything and therefore I don’t get “cravings”, but I make sure the majority of what I ingest daily is healthy. If I have a day that consists of mostly bad food (which FYI is most Saturdays), I don’t feel guilty, because I know I will work it off during exercise (whenever I want) or at the very least Sundays when I do the week’s prepping.

 Just to be safe I also confront my demon on a weekly basis. Thank goodness the scales are in an inconvenient location at work (just imagine how bad it will be if I could weigh myself at home). It inevitably either depresses me or motivates me, but nevertheless it keeps my weight in check.

I know most moms come home from work at some ghastly hour, but sharing your workload with your family is not a shame. Prepping and planning ahead is not a weakness. Most importantly letting your kids stand on their own two feet and do things for themselves is not a disservice. If they move out one day or heaven forbid you die tomorrow, will they be able to survive without you?

I want my kids to thrive despite my absence, but I also want the privilege to see them grow up into well adjusted, capable & competent adults. I want to live longer, look younger & be stronger as I grow older. That is why I start my day at 6am with a 10 minute meditation before the whole house awakes. I spend my day working only to come home to my second job (kids). I end the day at 8H30, dancing away with my “special” (aka cheap) weights, non-stop for 40-50 minutes. I finish off whatever time I have left by mentally draining myself playing games until 9h30.

Just to be clear: relaxing in a bath or shower afterwards and then going off to bed for a good night’s rest is not considered part of “mommy-time”, so don’t kick your better half out of bed, please? All this is done and dusted before 10pm. BOOYA!! The perfect schedule for any mom, tailored made to fit a mom’s lifestyle.

Tuesday, 8 November 2011

Time out is not just for the kids!

I noticed how many women there are lately (above the age of 30) that suddenly develop strange conditions they never had before. From neuro-physical manifestations like shaking hands, nervous tic disorders and painful limbs to weight gain and other symptoms of all sorts of weird & wonderful conditions I've never heard of before. Last year I thought I had “Beaver Fever” because my head shaked just like his did when his long hair was in his face all the time, just mine was a lot quicker. I went on a few blue pills (recommended by a Neurologist) that worked rather well. Even though my husband still wishes I could go back onto my “happy” pills, they hardly cured me. After many different doctor visits last year, I finally got fed up and decided to go the natural route (again)…exercise. The reason this happened to start off with: Stress not being released. (Who knew?)

Turns out:  moms are so busy during the day managing homes, kids and work, that by the time the kids are all tucked in and we are finished with the day’s chores, we are still so worked up, relaxing is impossible. No matter what we do to relax, inevitably we go over our mental “to do” lists and sweat over little stuff.  I urge all moms; take 1 hour a night for “mommy time”. You need a time-out for yourself if you want balance in your life. Spend time with your family, do what you can on weekends to have more time during the week or do it all before 8H30 every night. Then go have your well deserved mommy time. Whatever you do don’t plonk yourself in front of a TV? It’s an escape not a release. Escape only works on weekends if you are not stressed. Release on the other hand works every day, and that is what “mommy time” is all about.
It’s my magical time where I can do what I want. I am left alone with my thoughts, work out my frustrations and most of all I enjoy the PEACE & QUIET. No kids singing my job description from their bedrooms or asking silly questions. Just me on my onezee. I have to add that I have a husband who thankfully is very independent and does not require me to run after him or be by his side at all times. He enjoys his daddy time in front of the Xbox or TV every night as much as I solitude.

Monday, 7 November 2011

Just Breathe

Like most women, I used to be a slave to my family, my work & society in general. I am still bound by the unspoken rule that I should look, act & behave in a certain way.  Hair is dyed & styled, nails are done and wardrobes are decent (mine is enough for someone on a budget anyway). We do what is expected of us every day, all day. So why do we sometimes feel so empty?  Because we know we are screwed.
We earn less money than men and do by far more work. Getting kids ready for school, making them breakfast, packing lunch boxes, making sure they look decent & clean before they leave the house.  We drop them off at school, go to work, pick them up, take them to which ever activity, make them dinner, dish up for everyone, eat, do homework, bath them & make sure their projects, etc is done. Before bedtime we again make sure they are clean & ready for bed. We juggle careers, kids & everyone’s needs before our own. I for one would rather spend money on my kids than on myself. I buy things for myself because I NEED them as opposed to wanting them. Only the wonderfully rich & delightful have that luxury.

We deal with our daily stresses: kids, money, homes, work & bills and then we still stress that if we don’t take care of ourselves and look our best that our husbands will leave us, our jobs will suffer & our kids will not want to be seen in public with us. The latter is very real and very true, but this strange phenomenon only occurs during their teenage years, as we all remember well?
We set such high expectations for ourselves that when we don’t meet those expectations (in our opinions in accordance to what we perceive others to think of us); we wither away & crumble in disappointment, emptiness and self loathing. Then food becomes our escape or indulgence. The thing that makes us feel better.
 Men are so lucky. Their body issues have nothing to do with self image, society’s pressures or any link to their emotional wellbeing. The get up, go to work, come home & that’s it. We resent & nag about things we want them to “help” us out with & then nag when they don’t do it straight away.
I stopped nagging and stopped asking for “help”. Instead I shared responsibilities and if my kids & husband don’t do them, I leave it. It has worked wonders, because after 8pm I am as free as a bird. I have enough on my plate & do what is expected of me, so why do I have to do their chores and get no time in the end for myself.
When all is said and done, will it matter? Children do what you do not what you say. In the end if you are anything like me, they will be a neat freak just like you. Regardless of anything, they will be fine.I eat what I want, because food is not the enemy, the enemy is me. I do what I need to. I help where I can and then I complete my day with some distressing dancing & relaxing bath and a good night’s sleep. A life fit for a mom.

Sunday, 6 November 2011

What has weight got to do with it?

After 6 years, I am happy to a certain extent with my body now. Of course there are always some things that I would like to “tune up”, “tweak”, “OBLITERATE OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH!!!” and other minor things. Most women are not happy no matter how thin they get or how toned they appear to be.
I blame women for that. We subject ourselves to the magazines, TV shows and every medium out there showing us air brushed, perfectly sculpted (taped up) bodies that we must aspire to look like. The minute we are in a place we all feel vulnerable … the beach…we immediately cover up thinking that other people will judge us. The truth is: REAL Men like “real” women’s bodies: bumps, lumps & curves. I overheard men talking the other day, saying how a woman is her sexiest when she is naked and has no make up on. Seriously!!! Their idea of foreplay is us showing up!! Sexy is a state of mind. So flaunt what your momma gave you, he will be putty in your hands. Prime example is Betty White. She oooozes sex appeal with her words alone!!!  SEXY IS A STATE OF MIND.
As for women? They are so busy comparing themselves to you and they are so wrapped up in their own little worldly issues that they will not give you 2 seconds of their thought. The only women I tend to remember are the ones who looked better than me & made me feel even worse about myself.
Heck, even if they spare a second for a thought about you, they won’t even remember you anyway. I say, wear a bikini on the beach with pride.
Why? Because if you can afford a beach holiday & build sandcastles with your kids, you are in the top 15% percent of the women in this world not disabled, mutilated,  not poverty stricken, living in famine, dealing with terminal diseases, abuse or on welfare with no medical. That alone gives you the privilege of flaunting your body on the beach. With everything going on in this world, how is it women still remain so focussed on what they have or don’t have? Could we really be that self centred, conceited & pretentious?
We must live and let live, free of “perceived” judgement from others and prejudice. AMEN!!!