Wednesday, 14 December 2011

When life gives you lemons

They say: "when life gives you lemons, make lemonade". Some say: "when life gives you lemons, add a dash of salt and a shot Tequila". 
Not everyone was blessed with time and money to follow strict diets and training schedules at the gym. I sure don't. The blessing is that I can't afford take out and I don't waste time doing stuff that won't last. Diets are great until you go off them. Training schedules designed by personal trainers are brilliant if you stick to them. Somehow life inevitably gets in the way, and all your best intentions for that diet & exercise goes all Houdini on your @ss.

That is why I don't diet or go to a gym. I eat what I want. Fortunately most of what I want is healthy, because I want to look younger and live longer. I exercise when I want to. I don't feel guilty for having a Steak & Kidney pie as dinner tonight. I won't feel like I have cheated if I don't exercise tonight. The simple fact of the matter is, I am not on a diet or weight loss programme. There is nothing to worry about.  As long as the majority of what I ate today was healthy, I am fine with it. I will exercise to work off what I ate at some point, but it's not a life or death situation.

Life is so fragile and so very short. God put us on this earth for our life to mean something. Whether it's through our kids or through something we are a part of or do for a living. He did not intend for us to be weigh food and count calories and punish ourselves in the gym. He gave us these things because your kids only have 1 birth mother and no one can take care of her but YOU.

Tuesday, 13 December 2011

12 Days until Christmas

No one really starts any change in their lifestyle or anything during the Holidays. They postpone it to become just another New Year's resolution that will go all Milli Vanilli.

I say Xmas is the best time to start. You want to loose weight? Then start right away. All you have to do is evaluate your life. Ask yourself these questions:
1) Do you work part time?
2) Do you have a cleaning service or a domestic executive cleaning your house?
3) Do you have independent children.
4) Do you have time for gym.
5) Can you afford to spend lots of money on personal trainers and diets?
If you answered YES to any of the above, you have no excuses and can therefore fit exercise and healthy eating into your "hectic" life.
If, like me, you answered NO to all of the above, then there is a plan you can incorporate into your life.
Step one: ask Santa for a MP3, MP4, iPod or a 1980's Walkman!!! Whatever, just get portable music into your life.
Go to work, have a yogurt, drink lots of water and eat left overs from the night before for lunch.
Go home and make a healthy dinner (aka tomorrow's lunch). Eat half your dinner and start to clean the house & do laundry in between doing the "mom" thing as quickly as you can.
Once your little ones are tucked into bed (preferable no later than 8pm), retreat to your bedroom or bathroom.
Dance to music anywhere you can find a space for an hour. Drink water to keep hydrated.
Have a bath/ shower/ both and relax the rest of the night.
If you are on holiday during this time, retreat to the bathroom or bedroom for an hour and dance away. Take lots of walks, swim, ski or run during the day and be sure to eat half of what you ordered or made. The leftovers can be another meal on it's own. Drink lots of water before meals and afterwards.
You don't have to diet. You don't have to join a gym. The only changes you need to make is smaller portions, lots of water and some form of exercise. Basically do anything that makes you exhausted.
All of this can be done in your time, on your budget and can be fit into your lifestyle as a mom.

Monday, 12 December 2011

Oops, I did it again!!

What a horrible weekend!! It rained the entire time so all we did was cuddle in front of the TV. I ate and snacked and picked all weekend long. Today when I went for my morning confession, the scale showed that I had picked up 2kg's. (Butter!!!)

Weight loss is easy, but keeping it off is soooo hard for me. I have the perfect weight loss regime for me and a brilliant plan to not gain weight. However as this weekend proved, not all plans are fool proof. (or idiot proof in my case).
I had little meals until I was not hungry anymore. Then I picked little bits off the kids' plates, then I snacked on sweets and what-not in between. That was the idiot part. I should have waited until I was absolutely starving again before I snacked on sweets. The fact that I did not do a stitch of exercises also did damage!

So back to my quick weight loss routine today. Slowly eat small, healthy portions when I am starving. Drink lots of water before and after I have eaten. Dance. Shower. Sleep.
By this weekend I will be 2kg's lighter again. Happy face.

Until then I will be depressed as hell. Better warn the authorities. There's a women out there with severe PMS:  Post Monday Stress!!! GRRRRRRRR.

Friday, 9 December 2011

Time flies and all that

When I was younger I weighed over 200 pounds (96kg's). Now I can not loose any more weight even if I tried. I have bones sticking out at some places (YUK!!)  How time flies. As previously promised on my blog, I have followed through on my plans to get summer ready. All that is left is that fake, waterproof tan. Seems there is no such thing after all, so I am going to be the Albino in the purple swimsuit.
With any luck my milky white skin will BLIND the people around me so they won't notice the stretch marks on my butt and knees from when I was fat.

Normally when I have one week to go until I go on holiday, I start panicking about my hip lumps and bum bumps. Fortunately this time I was determined not for that to happen, so I followed my 5 step weight loss strategy. No matter what my fellow beach goers think of me, at least I'll be the skinny whatever.
Hopefully once I turn 37 this month, I'll stop caring once and for all what people think of me and my body. Maybe I will always be the fat girl in the skinny body.  Where's skinny me when I need her?

Thursday, 8 December 2011

Eat, Play, Love

In our minds we once looked like this:

now we think we look like this:

If you hate what you see in the mirror, don't put yourself down. Do something about it. All it takes is one small change.  Eat small portions, play with different exercises and love your imperfections. They define you.

Wednesday, 7 December 2011

Issues are best served warm

A few weeks ago I mentioned that I still needed to shed more lb's and tighten a few areas. Well, I am happy to announce that today I reached my goal.

I am now the exact weight I was the day I got married 13 years ago. I am a whopping 56kgs!! I have loose skin on my belly & wider hips as a result of pregnancy and child birth. Thanks to a boob job, I have bigger kahunas contributing to my width, but I look & feel great. To be exact, I was pregnant 8 times. Only gave birth twice. Some syndrome, but also I contribute the fact that my babies did not survive to my yo-yo weight issues. Fortunately more babies are no longer my wish.

It does not mean that I still don't have weight issues. As I said many times, losing weight is easy, but keeping it off not. That is partly why this blog is so important to me. It is my motivation to keep the weight off this time.
People reading this blog is what inspires me and I in turn are in awe of so many bloggers putting themselves out there. We all have issues. It's nice to have a community of people standing by each other. It makes me feel all warm & fuzzy inside.

Tuesday, 6 December 2011

Use that nog... Eggnog

I can't say that I have worked my @ss off to get thin, because that will be total lie (although the common perception in my office is that I have,  based on how my pants droop). Weight loss is easy. Keeping it off when it's no longer important...not so much.
I like to think that I am the "Michael Weston" of all things diet & nutrition. Heaven knows I've done enough research on it. People ask me why I have not made all my knowledge of Nutrition & diets official by getting a degree of some sorts on the matter. My response normally involves a snotty laugh followed by these words: "Everything in moderation". I don't believe in diets. I don't believe in gym. I eat well enough not to be unhealthy. I exercise correctly enough not to be unfit (did that just make sense??)
Anyway, I can not in all good conscience tell people how to eat or exercise if I don't do it myself. I eat what I want, only when I am hungry, instead of the 6 proportionately selected greens & "leans" (typical diet foods) that I ought to eat a day.
My tricks for instant weight loss: Drink lots of water before & after you eat. Eat and drink what you feel like. If you are serious about weight loss you will incorporate leafy greens and healthy vegetables into every meal for good measure. Don't eat until you are about to explode. Dance exuberantly to utter exhaustion. Relax in a bath or shower and sleep.
That way you never get cravings, never feel hungry or tired and never have any medical problems. You also don't feel the need to sabotage or cheat on a "diet".

No one knows you better than you do. So use your knowledge about yourself and your lifestyle to make nutrition and exercise fit into your daily routine. Remember: You are NOT on a DIET. You are not doing this for any reason other than to look younger & live longer. Should you want to loose weight to win a man, a popularity contest or attention, your victory will not last long. Neither will your new found body.

Monday, 5 December 2011

It's time.

When I see fat people I can't help but think back at the time when I was over 200 pounds. I remember how hard it was to be like that and all the things I tried to loose weight. The thing is, I remember doing at least something about it. Most people, to be honest don't look like they are even trying. That disgusts me in a small way, because I could never go back to that. Fat people are not happy. They are not healthy. We tolerate them because we have to. They are everywhere! I sound like the biggest Be-atch, but I can't help it. Seriously, if I of all people could loose over 100 pounds, then why not everyone else?
I didn't have money, time or the will to give up my greatest love of all... food. I just made a conscious decision to work healthier foods in small doses along with some exercise into my life.

It's time to stop making excuses. Stop pretending everything is OK, when I know you are dying inside. I know what you go through physically every day. I know what you go through mentally every day. It is so much easier to blame everything and everyone else. It is so convenient to have an "alibi" for your eating habits. You are slowly killing yourself and that will never be OK.

It is time. Figure out how you can save yourself more time to fit exercise into life. Try to find healthy alternatives when it comes to food, like home made Hamburgers.  To save money, take left over dinner for lunch the next day. What do you have to loose?

Saturday, 3 December 2011

"It's the most wonderful time of the year"

As the lyrics in the song goes: "It's the most,  wonderful tiiiiiiime,  of the yeeeeeear". Just because we are moms with no time and money, we still have a lot to be grateful for.
It is a great time of year where giving is more important than receiving. So in the spirit of giving, I want to give you something: My encouragement, support and motivation. (bummer... I know!!!)

Any one can loose weight, no matter how old, fat or unhealthy they are. You don't have to join a gym. You don't have to follow a "eating lifestyle". You definitely don't have to spend tons of money either. The important part is that you fit healthy eating and some form of exercise into your life. Make losing weight work for you and fit into your schedule.
Don't loose weight for someone else. Don't try to look like that hot mom you always see at your local supermarket. You want to loose weight to look younger and live longer. Nothing else matters. The minute you stop trying to loose weight for the wrong reasons, the longer you will keep the weight off.

With small portions, lots of water and some way of working off what you ate, losing weight is really easy. Have that big meal and pudding. Just drink lots of water before you eat out of a side plate. Don't go for seconds! If you are still hungry afterwards, drink more water. After clearing the table and doing the dishes (aka at least 1 hour), make time to take a walk, go dance, jog a little or do anything that involves movement. If all else fails have sex, that is also great exercise. The great part is, you can do any of these for as long as you want until bed time. The more movement the more exercise, the more weight you loose.
It's a start!!!

Thursday, 1 December 2011


The perfect opportunity came up today to test a theory I had. During a work function where a 3 course meal and lots of alcohol were the main attractions, was it possible to loose weight.
The answer is Yes!! I always drink lots of water before and after I eat a little something, so today was no different. (looking forward to the leftovers tomorrow I might add!!) I never go without exercising, yet tonight I will give it miss.  Partly because I drank lots of Coolers and wines, so stability and balance is not my forte, if you know what I mean? Yet, I managed to loose weight.  What did I do differently?
I moved as much as possible when I could. In between courses I took fast walks to the bar, ladies room and smoking area. My behind bopped up & down in my chair to the music. I mingled, wriggled and giggled the whole way through. I also parked far away so running to and from the restaurant was not optional.
Now that I have my theory tested I will hone my skills at every function to come.
So don't just sit there!! Do something. Anything to keep moving. You will be surprised what a big difference that makes if you don't stuff yourself like a Christmas stocking. Eat small, become small. Continue moving, continue living longer. It doesn't matter what you look like now. What matters is your future.